Leaders touch and influence every facet of life - family, societal, religious, business, and civic organizations are in need of exceptional leadership. Whether you are a pastor, parent, principal, teacher, administrator, or manager, you are a leader. The key to leadership is to realize you have untapped potential and then strive to reach that potential. It will not be reached in a day, nor a week, nor a year, nor a decade. Learning to lead is a lifelong process.

There are certain leadership skills and leadership principles you must learn to follow in order to effectively lead people and lead people well. The key is to invest in and serve others. Help develop them, teach them, and train them. Teaching and training people in their development and self-improvement is a lofty ambition. It requires more dedication and commitment than you will get out of some of the people you’ll be trying to serve – but it will be well worth the investment in others.

There is a Chinese proverb that says “If your vision is for a year, plant wheat. If your vision is for a decade, plant trees. If your vision is for a lifetime, plant people”. That is what this website is all about. Leadership in its purest form is about planting and nurturing people. It is about planting seeds in others that can grow, develop, and someday produce a crop. As your leadership grows you will have various opportunities to invest in others and to help them grow. This website is a great place to start.

The number one thing you can do to develop yourself as a leader and to become more effective in leadership is to realize that everyone can get better –including you.  It doesn’t matter if you are a beginning leader with a big vision or a seasoned visionary who has done magnificent things. There will always be room for growth and improvement. My vision is to help you in your self-development quest, specifically in the areas of leadership and success. Personal development is the number one leadership principle you can embrace to become not only a better leader, but a better person.

Developing yourself is often a difficult and arduous task. Dwight L Moody said “I have had more trouble with myself than with any man I’ve ever met.” Life happens. Plans get derailed. We get sidetracked. Leadership is about vision. You absolutely MUST stay focused on your vision. Do not get distracted.  Leaders have drive, purpose, and desire. They are driven and fueled by their vision.

However, your vision will grow in direct proportion to how much you grow. As Zig Ziglar says “Make sure at the end of ten years at a job you have ten years of experience, not one year of experience ten times.” If you are looking for a convenient and practical way to grow, our articles are a good place to start. There are so many elements of leadership one may find it difficult to pinpoint the most important component. The obvious answer though, is personal growth. An insatiable desire for excellence and development will lead you to the parts of leadership most likely to help you. Without study and commitment though, one can expect only average results at best. So please read some of the other articles while you’re here, make a few comments, and if you like what you are reading, please sign-up for my RSS feed.

I despise traditional networking but must admit, I’m becoming addicted to “people reading”. If you read this blog much you may be wondering who I borrowed this idea from. To the best of my knowledge, I came up with this one all by myself. Everyone “people reads” to some degree or another. Few do it systematically or intentionally. Even fewer are any good at it. Like salesmanship, it is a skill that must be developed.  It is not the same as reading people. The object is not to figure out what type of mood they are in or what they are thinking.

By now you are probably wondering… “people reading… what the heck is that“? Here is my quick & dirty definition.  “People reading” is the act of taking the time to ask questions about somebody in order to learn their story and the lessons contained within their story. Now bear in mind this is the debut of my new art and science. The definition may be better worded sometime in the future, but for now, that will have to suffice. The best way to explain it is to tell the story of its discovery.

I accidentally stumbled upon this concept at a social/business event. You know the type- one of those events where everybody is dressed up better than they want to be, in order to impress those who feel they need impressing and happen to have just enough power to make life miserable for those who refuse to play the game. In my defense, I was dragged by somebody else, but regardless, I was still expected to participate. The idea is to network and show your support for the community, organization, or whatever cause you are representing. About 5% of the people there are actually enjoying it and 3% of those enjoying it are because they are the ones whom everybody is trying to schmooze.  

Now that you’re jealous of my fantastic party and I’ve set the stage, let me tell my story. For some reason on this night I was at a tipping point. I just about had enough of insincerity. I wanted a dose of authenticity, which I find harder and harder to find in the world these days. There was a particular gentleman at this event that I didn’t particularly like. I had no desire to get to know him, I had heard stuff, seen stuff, jumped to conclusions, and made judgments I shouldn’t have (of course, this is mostly on a subconscious level, I just didn’t like him).  We’ll call him Frank. For whatever reason, I found myself at a table with Frank and listened as he talked to some others at the table. I’m highly interested in leadership, organizational life, and success. This man was successful in his own right and had made a few references I thought should be expanded on. Unfortunately though, nobody asked him any specific, in depth questions about the very things he was bringing up in conversation.  Everything was staying on the surface but my interest was piqued. At some point, I realized nobody cared about what Frank had to say, he was just that guy…. The 3% I mentioned earlier. If you weren’t on his good side, you at least didn’t want to be on his bad side. It dawned on me that the group around the table was doing just enough to stay off his naughty list.

After his roundtable of disinterested business associates ran out of questions, I decided to ask a few questions of my own.  The advantage I had was that I didn’t need his approval or his business. Additionally we both knew that we didn’t care for each other. But I wanted to learn about some of the things he was discussing so I couldn’t help but ask some clarifying questions. To be honest, I thought I would get surface level responses but I figured I had nothing to lose. I brought up some questions about people and personalities and how he handled them. I asked how he kept certain things from affecting his judgment and much more. To my surprise he opened up and shared much more than I anticipated, even though others were sitting at the table. In fact, the table was soon buzzing with questions – real life genuine questions.

By the time the evening had ended, I had a new respect for Frank, his industry, and his determination. His story had given me a sincere and genuine look at who he was, what he struggled with, and what his vision was. I had learned a great deal about this man I had formed a hasty judgment of before. Not only had I learned a lot about Frank (the businessman), I learned some lessons from his experiences, I learned that everybody has something to teach if you get your ego out of the way, and I also learned a little about human nature… and thus, “people reading” was born.

I have only recently started participating in this hobby on purpose. I have always been an avid reader of books. Give me a few good books and nice place to devour them and I’m in heaven. In fact, my personality slant is introverted and in the past, being around large groups of people has absolutely drained me. The more I develop this skill though, the more I enjoy the opportunity to participate in it. As I have spent more time listening to peoples stories I have found some noteworthy commonalities.

First, people are fascinating. Usually much more interesting than you would have guessed. Secondly, people are eager to talk and share their story. They want to share the lessons they have learned and the struggles they’ve overcome. Third, the lessons and stories a person shares with you will make an impression that lasts. I’ve read hundreds of books. Many of them good books with great ideas. However, when faced with new ideas (in a book) they must be quickly implemented or they will soon be forgotten.  Just like the key points of a speech are easily forgotten, so are the key points of a good book. However, when you are engaged in a meaningful conversation with somebody, when hearing their story, their struggles, and their relentlessness…. It stays with you. I remember conversations I’ve had over lunch from years ago. Books don’t leave an indention in our minds like that.

The best thing about “people reading” is that unlike actual reading, you get to choose where the book or storyline (conversation) goes. When you sit to read a book you have little control over what you consume. For example, let’s say you have the book How To Win Friends and Influence People by Dale Carnegie. You can read the book from start to finish, read only the chapters you want, or not read any of it. No matter how many times you flip through it or read it, it will always be about the same subject. It will be the same material. The same content. The same everything. The second time you read it, you will only be reviewing what you already know or what you missed the first time, but the content will not change. You will not learn about a different topic altogether, such as diving, from reading the Carnegie book more than once.

People reading is different in that regard and much more exciting. When you approach a person you get to decide what you are going to read (learn) about simply by how you steer the conversation and by the questions you ask. This takes practice. I’m in the habit of starting with general questions and as soon as a person hits on a topic that peaks my interest or theirs, I ask more specific questions in that category. Since my questions are sincere and about something I’m interested in, people tend to open up and I usually walk away learning much more than I bargained for. The great thing is that the next time I am around this person, I can continue to learn about the same topic or I can learn about something totally different.

You’ll be surprised how much you can learn from the experiences of others when you take the time to ask. You may feel a little awkward at first because in order to “people read” properly you will be asking questions you may not be comfortable asking.  You may feel like you are getting too personal or stepping over the line of professionalism. I assure you, for the most part people are happy to answer even the most personal questions if you are authentic, trustworthy, and tactful. They’re usually happy to share their experiences. If a particular question seems like it could potentially offend someone, just prep your question with “If any of my questions make you uncomfortable you don’t have to answer, I’m just extremely interested in… (whatever the topic is)?” (Some topics and questions are too personal so use common sense and your best judgment).

When “people reading” is done properly you will learn more than you anticipated. You will save heartache and headache by not repeating the mistakes of others. You will save time reading books on the same topic. You will be sure your source speaks from real experience and isn’t just repackaging ideas from other sources. You will have deeper, more meaningful relationships. Before you run off to start “people reading” though, you need to follow a few guidelines or rules of engagement.

Rule #1: Consider your motives.

This is the most important and powerful of all the rules. If you don’t get this right, you will never master the art of “people reading”. It’s the toughest rule to follow sometimes. The rule is this… consider your motives. Keep them pure. This is not a repackaged sales tactic! This is not a form of manipulation! This is not another scheme to help you get what you want! If you want something (other than to learn, grow, and build relationships) from the person you are questioning then you should move on to somebody else. People have a sixth sense. They may not be able to put their finger on it, but they know when somebody has self-serving motives. Will your influence with people go up?… possibly, but this should NEVER be your purpose.

Rule #2: Find common ground.

If you are trying too hard to think of good questions then you haven’t steered the conversation very well. When you find a topic you are both interested in, you will have more questions than you have time for and as the conversation progresses, you will naturally think of additional questions. It’s not uncommon for me to have 3-5 questions I want to ask right now and another 2-3 follow up questions for each of those. But if you’re struggling to think of even one good question, then you need to move the conversation in a totally different direction or find somebody else to talk with.

Rule #3: It’s not about you.

This is not your opportunity to promote yourself. If that is what you are trying to do, please refer to rule number one. This is your opportunity to learn. To be honest, keeping your mouth shut except when asking questions is probably the best promotion you could do for yourself anyway. However, if that statement excites you… then once again - please see rule number one.

Rule #4: When the horse is dead, dismount.  

Rule number four is actually a quote that comes from my favorite leadership writer John Maxwell. “When the horse is dead, dismount.” If the person you are talking to is running out of steam about a particular topic don’t keep beating a dead horse. Get off. Move on. The horse is dead.

Rule #5: Have fun.

Finally, if you aren’t having fun you’re either doing it wrong or you’re doing it with an agenda (i.e. for the wrong reasons). Since you’re not trying to sell anything, get anything, or manipulate anybody then it should be fun. Getting to know people should be enjoyable. The only thing that will make it not fun is if you are breaking rule #1 (then it becomes work), if the person you are talking to is boring, (once again… it becomes work) or if the person you’re talking to has a bad attitude (work). I try my best not to break rule number one. If a person has a bad attitude I usually move on to somebody else. But, if they are just boring, I make it my challenge to find common ground that interests us both.  I will finish this article with one final thought – sometimes the people who seem the most boring at first have the most intriguing and exciting stories but you will never know unless you ask the right questions!

Time is the most expensive commodity around. It’s amazing how often I hear people say they “don’t have time”. Many times this excuse is used for things that can make a dramatic difference in their life or business.  Interestingly, people usually don’t have “time” to do the things that will free up their time in the long run. For example, it is common knowledge that sometimes delegating a complicated task can be difficult and time consuming. People will say things like “it’s just easier to just do it myself”.  

While it’s true that training people is difficult, arduous, time-consuming work… not training and/or delegating causes problems of its own. Unfortunately, leaders have a natural tendency to be perfectionists. They generally want everything done perfectly and also in the same way they would do it. Not all leaders suffer from this, but I lean this way more often than not, as do many other developing leaders I know. It’s not good or bad, it is what it is, and we should keep it in mind when doing our jobs.  This perfectionism is a great asset and may be the very reason a person is in a leadership position in the first place.

However, it presents a problem in terms of delegation and training. If a leader refuses to let go of the reigns, this need for things to be perfect can become a liability. Teaching is a messy proposition. To teach takes time and patience. A person learning will rarely do the job as quickly or efficiently as somebody who has had some practice. But leaders must realize that as a protégé learns a new job, all the time spent on that task can be freed up for the leader to do more important things. Teaching and training is similar to compound investing. The payoff in the beginning is little to none, but over time it changes everything on a massive scale.  

When confronted with this fact, people in leadership positions like to say that they know they shouldn’t be doing particular tasks… but… “it’s easier if they just do it” and they “don’t have time to teach it to somebody else”.  But if they are still using these excuses, they don’t have a complete grasp of the concept yet. There is a difference between knowing something intellectually and knowing something emotionally. When a person knows something intellectually, it may or may not change behavior.  For example:

- I know I shouldn’t smoke.
- I know I shouldn’t take on consumer debt.
- I know I shouldn’t eat this stuff, it will make me fat. 

But once a person knows something emotionally, their behavior has a better chance of changing.  For example, a person who has survived lung cancer or a heart attack will view poor health habits differently than somebody who traveling down that path but has not yet arrived. They will know things emotionally that the rest of us only know intellectually. The same is true of a person who uses consumer debt flippantly when compared with a person who has already been through a bankruptcy. I’m not suggesting that these always cause a change in action. In fact, many times they don’t. But when a person is faced with a crisis like these, takes responsibility for their own role, and allows themselves to learn from their mistakes - true change can occur. This change is because somewhere along the way, a person has allowed what they know intellectually to be transferred to the emotional decision making part of themselves.  

This brings us back to our discussion on investing our time. Once you know (emotionally) how much time will be saved on the back-end by putting in extra time and effort on the front-end, you will no longer skip over the importance of delegation simply because it’s not convenient, it’s easier to do yourself, or you just “don’t have time”.  Unlike anything else in life, time will be spent regardless of what you do or don’t do. Each minute gone is another minute spent. Time cannot be managed. Time cannot be saved. Time is the great equalizer – everybody has the same amount. Yet some people seem to live remarkable, amazing lives, while others sit and watch in awe. Time is the great healer – it’s is only through the slow passing of time that our emotional (and sometimes physical) wounds are healed.

Hopefully this article has convinced you to start delegating more of the tasks and odd jobs of your position in order to free yourself up for more important responsibilities. If this article inspires you to implement new techniques or strategies, I’d love to hear about it or how it went. As you plan your work and work your plan, keep in mind the quote from leadership expert and guru John Maxwell - “only do what only you can do.”

The following chart represents some concepts about time to keep in mind as you navigate through the best way to utilize yours…

  Table: Common Characteristics of Time

Stay focused on the destination!

I recently went on a vacation to spend Christmas with family. Since the majority of my waking hours are spent in the great state of Florida, my children have not had as much experience with snow as they would like. So they were ecstatic to have the opportunity to give sled riding a chance. We arrived at our destination late in the night, went to sleep, and all was well.

It felt like Christmas when my children woke us up before the rest of the world because they were eager to go outside and play. My two oldest children had found the snow clothes my aunt left for them and were dressed to attack the hill in the backyard with a vengeance. All they needed was permission… and a few ground rules.

At this point, you’ve got to understand that my aunt had already given my son all the advice he really needed, or so she thought. She informed him “the back porch is concrete- so stop BEFORE you get to it. Don’t try to stop with your legs or you’ll break your legs.” One would think this is pretty straight forward and no further instruction is needed. I could see anticipation in their excited eyes so I reluctantly acquiesced to their request. I reminded them one more time to stop before the porch and they were off. Of course my wife and I were just waking up. At this point our two year old (who was now as excited as the other two) was repeating “I wanna go outside, I wanna go outside”. Unfortunately she was not bundled up yet and neither were we.

As I started putting on our snow gear, I commented to my wife “It’s going to be a long day”, which by the way, turned out to be a gross understatement. If you’ve been reading this with a passing glance, now is the part you want to pay attention to. As Jim Rohn used to say “the drama’s in the details”.

Now, fast forward 10-15 minutes. My toddler and I are just about finished dressing for the outdoor weather when my daughter bursts through the door with a look of sheer terror on her face. “Tyson needs help. He hit the porch. Come quick. He’s bleeding.” Just like any other eleven year old, she can be overly-dramatic at time and I figured this was one of them. Walking out on the back porch I expect Tyson to be crying and maybe have a small injury. When I arrive, he’s not crying, however there is blood pouring from the top of his head and staining the snow crimson beside him. Even though I have four children, this was my first real contact with a head injury. I wasn’t aware that lots of blood is the norm. So I begin to assess the situation and at the same time try not to panic. “Go get your mother from upstairs”.

Looking at Tyson, I can see he is shaken. He looks scared and Tyson doesn’t scare easily because he’s constantly pushing his limits and frequently pushing it too far. He’s used to getting banged up. “Are you okay?” I ask. He looks up and says “yeah, I’m just scared.” So I help him walk in the back door and sit down at the table. As I get him a paper towel to put some pressure on the wound I am amazed at how much blood is flowing. There’s a trail of blood from outside, through the kitchen, and still pouring out the top of his head. Trying to remain calm in order to keep him calm (which is difficult because I am not known in my family for doing well with blood) I take note of the situation.

#1) Tyson is bleeding from the top of his head like a warrior who has lost a battle.

#2) Being the first day on vacation and in the backwoods of Pennsylvania, I have no idea where the hospital is.

#3) My aunt is at work and I have no idea what her number is.

When my wife emerges we decide the wisest thing is probably to call 911 and just let them give us directions. While on the phone with 911 they ask our address and we have to literally go outside and look at the house number. Unfortunately, they are set up in provinces need to know what district we are in because they have duplicate addresses in their computer. We, of course, have no idea what district we are in. Fifteen minutes later, my cell phone rings, and when I pick it up, it’s the 9-1-1 operator. “We’re on our way. We went to the wrong district but we’re turning around”. Meanwhile, my son is still bleeding.

To make a long story short, a few hours and 6 staples later we are on our way home from the ER. My son speaks up from the back of our SUV “Can I go sled riding when we get home?… the doctor said not to get water in it when I take a bath… but he didn’t say I couldn’t sled ride anymore.” And so it is with kids- he was out sledding again within 15 minutes of us returning from the hospital.

Now I know what you’re thinking… nice story (albeit a bit long) but what is the lesson? What’s the point, right? The lesson here stems from the story of what happened between the time they went out initially and the time my daughter dramatically burst through the door with the announcement that “Tyson needs help…” On the drive home from the emergency room we learned that while sledding down the hill his hood fell over his eyes. Instead of stopping to put it back on, he was trying to move it so he could see while continuing at full speed down the hill. He thought he had plenty of time when CRACK- he hit the porch. My aunt told him not to use his legs to stop but she never said anything about using his head!

Anyway, it hurt a bit and his sister hurried over to see if he was okay. “I’m fine.” he told her. Inspecting him closer she said “I think you cut your face because you have blood on it”.

“Well that’s weird, I didn’t hit my face” he calmly replied.

That was when Sydney realized the blood wasn’t coming from his face, it was just down his face from his head. They pulled the hood back and… this is where our original story picked up. She screams, I come out, yada-yada-yada.

There are many lessons here. Listen to your parents, sleep in, wear a helmet, etc. Every story and/or event is like mining for gold. You’ve got to look for the nugget. These initial lessons are like fools gold. They seem right but there’s no real substance. The real nugget here has to do with moving ahead without making proper adjustments.

The lesson here is simple, one must be careful of blind momentum. Often times, once a person has invested in an idea or implemented a plan, their ego becomes involved. If momentum has already been created it can be dangerous. The problem with a bad idea or plan that has gained momentum is that sometimes, in our human nature, we look at the momentum and use its presence to justify an idea and/or squelch uneasy feelings we are having. Unfortunately, those uneasy feelings exist because our subconscious has noticed that something is wrong. Here are a few characteristics that can help you distinguish whether or not you (or your organization) is moving forward on blind momentum.

1) An obstructed view

Sometimes life happens or as I like to say “Shick happens.” It happens to the best of us. In my son’s case it was a hood falling over his eyes. In the real world, it can be anything that stops us from considering where we are heading. For example, if at work your mind is on problems in your marriage, then you aren’t focused on your job. You’re there, things are happening, but you aren’t paying attention. This is a classic case of an obstructed view. The same thing can happen the other way around. Maybe you’re spending time with your spouse or significant other, but you continue to think about business. There are tons of similar scenarios that could be playing out in your life right now. The best thing you can do is deal with the obstruction in the best manner possible. If it can’t be fixed, move it out of your mind and re-focus on the moment- otherwise you will never have peace and achievement together.

2) Blurred vision

When a leader is emotionally involved in something it can blur the vision of what is trying to be accomplished. This is especially true if it is something implemented by the leader because it reflects on them. Nobody wants to look like a fool or a failure, but until a leader is willing to try new ways of doing things and risk their pride, they will never truly connect with their people or connect their people with their vision. (Sidebar - people are usually more willing to risk time, energy, money, relationships, and a great deal more for a vision before they are willing to risk their pride. The funny thing is, only those who are willing to humble themselves and risk a shot to their ego will succeed in tremendous ways).

3) Too much momentum

To put this very simply, sometimes things get moving so quickly that by the time a person or organization realizes there’s a problem it’s too late to stop the damage. It’s almost like those slow motion moments of your life (we all have them). The moments time seems to stand still. Those moments when you see an phenomena about to occur, you know what needs to be done, but the only thing you have the power to do is watch in anticipation as the moment unfolds before your eyes. In retrospect these moments always seem to re-play in my head in slow motion.

4) Lack of objective monitoring

If something is not monitored, it quickly gets out of control. Here are a few examples from my own life, see if you have any similar experiences… my children, my habits, my weight, my thoughts, my actions, and my wife. Just kidding on the last one. J People and systems in an organization need monitoring, whether it’s a fortune 500 company, a small business, or a family unit. If they are not monitored in some way, they will not perform. This is equally true for systems as it is for people. I have found that sometimes systems aren’t monitored because they are run on the assumption that “this is the way we have always done it”. The important thing to remember is that you must monitor these things in a meaningful way and in a meaningful area. If you want a good example of what monitoring can do when left unchecked, take a good look at our educational system. Somebody sold states on the idea of monitoring progress. So all sorts of tests were instituted. Now most of what goes on in unmonitored monitoring (say that one 5 times fast). Ask any teacher and a majority of them will tell you that there is little value to all the testing that goes on. It is too much testing that takes away from learning. However, it must be implemented now because it is law. Please make sure you have monitoring tools in place that are meaningful to those involved because if there is no system in place for assessing what is working and what isn’t, things quickly get out of control.

5) Refusal to accept the final destination

If my son would have looked ahead a little, he could have created a path on the side of the house that never ended at the back porch. If he had done this, even in the worst case scenario he would have never hit the back porch. Adults do this in life many times with our actions. Just like my son we think, “well… I’ll stop before I get there”…. So we eat until we’re obese (obesity is at epidemic proportions in the United States right now), we work until we drop, and we indulge in habits we know we should abstain from simply because we fully intend to quit BEFORE we hit the porch. Today could be your day. Assess your life & actions, put some objective monitoring in place, accept the final destination of the road you are on, and make the changes that need to occur NOW. Otherwise, in 20 years you will be thinking what you were 20 years ago… “I’ll quit before I get there”.

F.O.C.U.S. on your goal

Sometimes it’s easier to think that successful people have somehow gotten all the breaks. The problem with this sort of thinking is that it takes away your power in creating your own story. Truly successful people keep their eye on the goal line. When it gets tough, those are the moments life uses to weed out those with grit and those without it. So when you feel like your dream is taking too long, remember this acronym… F.O.C.U.S. (Follow One Course Until Successful). The great majority of wealth in this country is first generation wealth. That means many people started with little to nothing and created their own destiny. No matter how difficult or out of reach your dreams may seem sometime- DON’T QUIT!

I was once planning to attend a weekend seminar in Orlando and a guy asked to meet with me before I headed off. He was down on his luck and in a mental rut. His business was stagnant and he claimed he wanted to turn it around. Everything else in his life seemed to be on track and going fine. I quickly assessed that all he really needed was a pick-me-up. If he was going to get his business on track he would need to fix his thinking because he was definitely struggling with a bad case of what Zig Ziglar calls “stinkin’ thinkin”. Mentally, he had already decided his business had contracted a deadly incurable virus and would soon be dead. But I know otherwise - I saw tons of potential in him IF he would only get out of his own way. He made the argument that others were obviously gifted in this particular area and that he could never play at the level of other successful people in the same industry. The thing to remember is that successful people aren’t always seen as “gifted” or talented at the beginning of their career. In this particular case he was comparing himself to a man with 37 years of experience who was extremely successful. The guy I was meeting with had a young business organization and was just beginning to gain experience, however he was ready to throw in the towel because it was more difficult than he thought it would be!

Whatever industry you are in, remember that 37 years of experience is different than one year of experience 37 times- in fact, it’s extremely different! Make sure at the end of 10 years you have 10 years of experience and not one year of experience 10 times. I don’t know who said that originally, but it’s a thought I constantly remind myself of.  A more famous example of the F.O.C.U.S. acronym is leadership expert John Maxwell, who I recently heard make the statement that when he first began writing he was extremely bad at it. If you’ve read any book by Maxwell, you will know that following one course until successful (FOCUS) worked for him in an incredible way. His books consistently rank in my top picks category year after year. Chris Gardner (The pursuit of happiness) is another great example. He titled his most recent book “Start where you are”, a simple, yet powerful message along the same theme.

Wherever you are right now in your finances, relationships, spiritual life, and business life I want you to be encouraged! Take your eyes off yourself and start thinking every day about how you can add value to others. Get involved in something bigger than yourself. Expand your vision. Grow. Visit The Difference Project and get inspired to find a way in which you can serve and help others. I want to thank all of you for visiting this site and being a part of this blog as I begin to put content up. I hope in the weeks, months, and years to come it will be of tremendous value and benefit to anyone looking for positive, uplifting, and simple messages. Remain FOCUSed on your goal and on the finish line. Don’t get complacent- challenge yourself everyday and I promise you that whatever you continue to “FOCUS” on will expand, whether it be business, faith, family, relationships, or anything else. Just keep in mind that it works equally well for negative things in your life. If you focus on the bad in your marriage… low and behold, more bad will show up and keep showing up. The bad will expand until it’s unbearable, so don’t focus on it, focus on the good in your life and may God bless your efforts!

www.turnbacktogod.com

I’m not sure where I first got this, but I had it filed and thought it was worth sharing…

A man was exploring caves by the Seashore.  In one of the caves he found a canvas bag with a bunch of hardened clay balls.  It was like someone had rolled clay balls and left them out in the sun to bake.   They didn’t look like much, but they intrigued the man, so he took the bag out of the cave with him.  As he strolled along the beach, he would throw the clay balls one at a time out into the ocean as far as he could.

He thought little about it, until he dropped one of the clay balls and it cracked open on a rock. Inside was a beautiful, precious stone! Excited, the man started breaking open the remaining clay balls.  Each contained a similar treasure.  He found thousands of dollars worth of jewels in the 20 or so clay balls he had left.

Then it struck him.  He had been on the beach a long time. He had thrown maybe 50 or 60 of the clay balls with their hidden treasure into the ocean waves.  Instead of thousands of dollars in treasure, he could have taken home tens of thousands, but he had just thrown it away!

It’s like that with people.  We look at someone, maybe even ourselves, and we see the external clay vessel. It doesn’t look like much from the outside.  It isn’t always beautiful or sparkling, so we discount it. We may see a person as less important than someone who seems more beautiful, more stylish, more well known, or more wealthy.  But we have not taken the time to find the treasure hidden inside that person.

There is a treasure in each and every one of us. If we take the time to get to know that person, and if we ask God to show us that person the way He sees them, then the clay begins to peel away and the brilliant gem begins to shine forth. This story can also help to remind us that we are also important and a treasure to God. It’s easy to compare our lives and accomplishments to those who seem further down the road than we are but always keep in mind that though it’s fun to achieve, our value is derived from another source. We are valuable because we are created in the image of God. Hope this helped encourage somebody today.

courtesy of nsonzi.com

If you attend church regularly then you know how painful it can be when the pastor is out of town or on vacation and there are “guest” speakers. My father is a pastor and growing up I remember that if the congregation found out about a future absence then only a handful of people would show up for the speaker. The reason I’m bringing this up is because our pastor was out this week.

However, the fill in speaker (we’ll call him Ken) did a phenomenal job. One of his key points was that we must re-learn to and allow ourselves to dream. Then we have to determine to pay the price for the dreams we are passionate about. He went on to say that so many dreams are not realized simply because they will cost us more than we are willing to pay.

Ken also read a quote from a book by Jim Collins called Good to Great. In the book Collins states “Good is the enemy of great. And that is one of the key reasons why we have so little that becomes great. We don’t have great schools, principally because we have good schools. We don’t have great government, principally because we have good government. Few people attain great lives, in large part because it is just so easy to settle for a good life. The vast majority of companies never become great, precisely because the vast majority become quite good - and that is their main problem.”

This is incredible insight! The ideas in that short paragraph have the potential to change your family life, your business life, your spiritual life, your emotional life, and any other part of life you allow it to touch. Have you been living a good life, but falling short of greatness? Is your business stagnant because when it started doing good you settled for it?

How did the past 12 months go with your career, family, and marriage? Good… or great? Mediocre? Incredible? I challenge you to challenge yourself to greatness in the next 12 months. Maybe you made resolutions at the beginning of this year. Perhaps they’ve already fallen to the wayside. Understand this, if you are not uncomfortable then you are not pushing yourself to greatness. This shouldn’t stress you out either. We all have more than enough stressors in our life. Sometimes we settle for good because it seems like success. But we know down deep, we could achieve more if we put in the effort. Jim Rohn liked to say “if you can achieve more, should you”? That’s a great question and I feel it can be answered with a resounding YES.

So how do you not get stressed out? You simply remind yourself every day that you are not competing with those out in front of you in life. You are only trying to compete with yourself. Just as a serious weightlifter will constantly try to beat his best, you should be growing and pushing yourself to new levels. Don’t become stagnate! Remember the great words of Bill Murray in What about Bob… “baby steps”. So take your eyes off yourself and focus on others. Good to great is a journey- don’t settle for anything less than doing the most you possibly can with this one shot at the gift we know as life!

Courtesy of pseudology.org

Have you ever had a problem you wanted to fix and you wanted it fixed NOW!… Of course you have, we all have. The problem is that many times we try to fix the problem by focusing on the wrong things. If you focus on the wrong thing you never will fix the problem. It would be like spraying the fire alarm with the fire extinguisher instead of spraying the fire. It may stop the alarm from going off, but you still have a problem that is getting worse with time.

To illustrate the point I’m trying to make I want to use an example you’ve heard many times. The example of ripening and fruit. There is much talk about reaping what we sow. To have a bountiful harvest we must plant good seeds, nurture and water those seeds, and then harvest the crop. But take a minute right now to think about roots. There are shallow roots & deep roots, thick roots & think roots, great roots & bad roots. Don’t let your mind wander now because here comes the big idea, the “aha moment”, the important phrase to remember. If you remember only one thing from this post, remember this catch-phrase… the roots determine the fruits.  I’ll repeat it, “THE ROOTS DETERMINE THE FRUITS.”

If you have undesirable results, circumstances, or habits in your life, these are your fruits. If you don’t like your results, it won’t do you any good to focus on the problem or “fruit”. You can’t fix a banana once it’s bad. You can pump it full of chemicals and drugs… it won’t help (this is what doctors try to do when our unhealthy lifestyle choices come to fruition… and we usually encourage it.) The mistake these health care providers are making is that they are trying to treat the symptoms, which is another name for the fruit, not the cause(root). You can put a band-aid on your bad fruit, it still won’t help. The only way you can fix the fruit is to fix root.

Here’s the kicker… you’re the tree. The fruits are your results. If you want better results in your life, focus on your roots and while doing this keep in mind that fruit doesn’t grow overnight. Don’t expect to sprinkle some personal development miracle grow on your life and in 24 hours be the next Zig Ziglar or Tony Robbins. It takes time. Here are some interesting root facts and I trust you will be able to see the connections:

1) Roots seek out and soak up nutrients the plant needs in order to thrive. In fact, every root has tiny hairs on it that help soak up all the minerals and nutrients possible. Are you soaking up everything of value in your life? Are you seeking out opportunities to learn and grow?

2) In some plants, such as beetroots, the roots even store food for seasons in the future when nutrients and minerals may not be so readily available. Do you have enough positive stored up in you to offset those bad days and negative people you are going to inevitably run into?

3) The deepest root ever measured grew 68 meters, or 223 feet deep! That’s quite a journey for a food supply. How committed are you to feeding your spirit (roots) what it needs in order for you to become the person you were destined to be and have the potential to become?

4) In response to the concentration of nutrients, roots also create cytokinin which acts as a signal to how fast the plant can grow…. read that again!…

…seriously, go back and read it again right now.

If you didn’t read it again (or even if you did) let me unpack it a little more. The root creates a chemical (cytokinin), based on how many nutrients it comes into contact with. This chemical then communicates to the plant or gives in instruction/permission as to how fast it can grow! This is so perfectly parallel to life. If you want to grow and develop your character and skills quickly, you must soak your roots in nutrient rich soil- Are you reading good books, listening to good cd’s, and surrounding yourself with positive, intentional people?

I could go on and on. I’ve found some really interesting facts about roots, their purpose, and how they work. So much of the world correlates to our lives when we actively look for the connections. As my good friend Gregory Carr likes to say, “be encouraged” and focus on your roots… not on your fruits. The fruits will take care of themselves because the only way you can fix the fruit is to fix the root.

Courtesy of "standupforamerica"

“It’s never too late to become the person you could have been.” -George Eliot

Reputation is how people perceive you. Integrity implies doing the right thing for the right reasons. Please don’t confuse integrity with reputation. As you develop yourself and become a person of character that is able to influence a following, it’s sometimes easy to get sucked into thinking that as long as your reputation is outstanding, then you’re fine. This fallacy is simply not true. Sometimes a leader has an outstanding reputation but there is little or nothing to their character.

Have you ever worked for somebody that everyone thought was the most wonderful person, but you knew differently? That’s a classic example of integrity and character verses reputation or popularity. With good marketing, reputation can be fabricated for the short term, but it always fails in the long run. People who are not honest to the core, have a hard time finding committed followers. They may have people who stick with them for many years but those people are typically following a paycheck, not a person. These people are not committed to the vision. In fact, down deep they may really dislike the job and their leader, which in turn may cause them to speak poorly of their organization, causing damage in the long run. This eventually destroys the false image of reputation.

The antithesis of this is when a person has tremendous integrity but their reputation has been run through the mud. This can happen for a variety of reasons. Perhaps unpopular choices or difficult situations have taken their toll on the leader’s organization. If you ever find yourself in this position, it is so important for you to act with integrity in all you do if you ever hope for things to change… and they will change. They will change because reputation is fickle; character is enduring. The tide changes with reputation quite frequently. It’s more volatile than the NY stock exchange on a bad day. This is an unfortunate and harsh reality- if this volatility is something you can’t handle, you may want to reconsider being in a leadership position.

But IF you’ve decided you can handle it and IF you realize it comes with the territory, then the best thing to do is try to ignore it. This is easier said than done sometimes, but you must decide who you are going to become and head boldly in that direction. Never waver from your core values when making decisions based on how it might affect your reputation or how people might view you. In the end, sincere integrity will rise above reputation every single time! Sometimes leaders simply have to choose the lesser of two evils when situations arise, which makes the leader an obvious target for criticism. Keep your motives pure. Genuinely love people. Stick to the vision and move forward with BOLDNESS remembering “God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline” - 2 Timothy 1:7.

Courtesy of blogitlikeyoumeanit.com

The new year is just around the corner. Christmas is almost here. I love this time of year. My thoughts are drawn to what is truly important… family,  friends, and my Savior. Not necessarily in that order either.  I’m leaving for vacation soon and thought I should put up a post for the month.  Before I get into the topic mentioned in the title of this article, I just want to encourage you to allow yourself the opportunity to remember what this season is about. It’s so easy and automatic to block out all the Christmas stuff because it’s so commercialized, but there really is a reason behind all the hoop-la. If you aren’t a fan of this little baby they call the Messiah… well, good luck with that. I figure, if I’m wrong… so what. If you’re wrong… sucks to be you. But in all seriousness, if you have questions or doubts, earnestly seek God and he will show up.  Have a wonderful Christmas and I hope you enjoy the rest of the post.

Moving on, I had a wonderful conversation today with a good friend of mine whom I have known for many years.  We started discussing purpose. Purpose is an interesting word. Many people claim that they believe everybody has a purpose, but when pressed for theirs, the majority of people can’t tell you with any reasonable certainty what they believe their specific purpose is.  It has different names. Purpose, destiny, calling, or an anointing, but they all basically point to the same thing.  At some point, everybody asks the question of all questions of themselves. What is my purpose or what is the meaning of (my) life. It’s the classic search for significance. Unfortunately, sometimes people go years and even their entire lives without finding an inner peace to this question.

There are a few commonalities that show up in a person’s intellectual search. The first time this question comes up, people typically find a quick (yet challenging) answer and pursue it. This is the first stage. The may decide it is money, helping people, family, faith, success, or a variety of other things. They will then pursue this activity for a period of time. But eventually the question comes up again because it was never really wrestled with to begin with- it was only answered on a superficial level…. BUT the person never really answered this question… “what is the purpose of MY life? What am I designed for?” This is the same question as ‘what is my purpose?’ but it’s also very different than ‘what is MY purpose?’ The emphasis on “my” makes all the difference.

By emphasizing a person’s specific bent it becomes easier to focus and define a particular person’s purpose. For example, I know my purpose is to help people. The obvious response to that though is “so what?… lot’s of people think their purpose is to help people.” The true question of significance cannot be identified until a person takes time to really look at what they are naturally suited for. Before reading too much more, you must understand that what I’m about to outline stems a lot from my faith. When I struggle with these questions I turn to my God and my Bible. So that being said, if you come from a similar belief system you should find this blog post a useful guide. If you don’t come to the table with the same beliefs, I encourage you to test it, think about it, use what you can, and discard what you wish.

Here are a few tips for identifying and understanding purpose.

#1) There is not a mystical pill for figuring out your purpose or destiny. There’s not a seven step plan or pattern. You could probably find one online, but that’s only because you can find anything online.  Identifying, understanding, and developing your purpose will take a lifetime and it will evolve as you do.

#2) Please understand that passion is the number one clue to your purpose. Yes you were created. But  the word created is used so flippantly. I like the word designed better. You were designed with a purpose in mind. Those deep seeded passions and desires you have within you that seem to draw you to them were placed there by God to help fulfill the purpose he has for you. If you are passionate about something- pray for guidance and  start moving in that direction. If you aren’t a believer I still encourage you to pray to God for guidance because if God doesn’t exist, he won’t move on you behalf… but if he does, maybe he’ll surprise you! Anyway, your inner desires are there by design, not by accident! God knew you would be drawn to whatever it is that draws you because he planted that desire in your heart before you were born- that is, when he designed you.

#3) God will give you a mountain to climb.   When you really tap into your purpose, your dream will probably be much bigger than what you could currently see yourself accomplishing. It will look like a mountain. You’ll feel challenged by the thought of scaling it, but at the same time you will have an insatiable desire to commit to climbing to the peak. In fact, you won’t be sure whether you can scale it or not- but the thought of trying will excite you! When you have that feeling within you, you have found your mountain. God has given you this mountain. Others may even think it’s a lofty or unreasonable thing for you to want to climb the mountain… forget them. It’s not their mountain. It’s your mountain. God has given you this mountain. Of course it’s big. It’s supposed to be. It will always be something you can’t accomplish on your own because your destiny is meant to do two things- cause growth and bring you closer to God. If your mountain wasn’t bigger than you, you would never challenge yourself and grow because you wouldn’t need to. You would also never be seeking God because you would have it under control. But it is when we feel inadequate that we seek God out first, so your purpose will naturally draw you closer to God as you try to accomplish it.

Pray for guidance. Keep these things in mind and begin to listen for what excites you. It’s never to late to begin something that should have started long ago. Find your mountain, resolve to finish what you start, take a big breath, and start climbing! Merry CHRIST-mas and a happy new year!